1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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