I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
