i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
