just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
