People with herpes should wear stickers.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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