I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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