Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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