when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
