I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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