He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize