i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
