is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
