I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
