return my video game
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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