OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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