can we get nightvision for the apartment?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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