In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
