In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize