therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
this hospital has no fireball
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
