I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
