i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
