How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm sobbing to NWA
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
