Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize