i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize