you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
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