AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
vagina is talking i cant
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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