There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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