Swine flu. Run for my life!
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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