Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
