what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize