mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
