How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
