i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
This baby is an asshole
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
