where am i from again
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
