I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
