1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
