he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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