Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
