I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
