do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
