why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
