I just made out with a guy for $7.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
