So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
