just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
