She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
