I'd wear matching sweaters with you
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize