saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
