I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
