I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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