My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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