There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
