I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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