hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
