I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
