is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
try to milk me bitch
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