In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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