I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
