why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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