2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
