I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
