And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
