so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
