wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
