Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
