when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize