i think my mom watched the whole time
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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