singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
