sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
