The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
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