I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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