you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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