OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Someone signed my nipple.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize