I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
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I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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