birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
